Preserving Wonder
I see the same problem throughout my life.
It happened in my marriage. When I got married 34 years ago, I couldn't believe how blessed I was. I watched my bride walk down the aisle and thought I'd pulled off the greatest heist. A few years later, I still loved her but often focused on her shortcomings. It took me a while to realize that I needed to work at preserving my wonder that God had blessed me with such a great wife. God called me not to be her critic but to love her as Christ loved the church.
The same happened with the first church I served. I look back now and realize how blessed I was to pastor that church. I was 24 years old and knew very little. They put up with my early sermons and inexperience. They gave me lots of room and loved and supported me. Pretty soon, I began to grow frustrated with how slowly the church was changing. I wished for faster growth and a bigger ministry, instead of being grateful for that church. I began to grumble and long for more.
The worst is in my relationship with God. My wife isn't perfect, that first church wasn't perfect, but God is. I have absolutely no reason ever to grow dull with who he is and what he's done for me. I'll spend eternity eternally satisfied with him. I'll never get tired of gazing at his beauty and worshiping him for who he is and what he's done.
But I have to admit that my heart sometimes grows cold to realities that should never cease to amaze me. It's easy to become spiritually dull at truths that cause angels to wonder.
One of the greatest tasks in life is never to lose our wonder. Call it hedonic adaptation, call it sluggishness, call it what you will. It's our responsibility to appreciate the wonders around us by waking up each day and asking God to help us recognize and value the good gifts we have.
I've recently enjoyed a few minutes where I've looked around and realized how much God has blessed me. If God never gives me more than he does right now, I am a very blessed man. I'm blessed to have my wife and family. I'm blessed to be part of a great church. I feel grateful to preach and be a pastor. I'm blessed with good health and many of the good gifts God has given me.
It would be tragic to miss out on this while wanting more. J.R.R. Tolkien once noted that a lamentable trait of human nature is our quick discontent with what is good.
That is one of the dangers we all face, especially as we get older. We stop being amazed by things that are, in the literal sense of the term, wonderful.
May God give us the ability never to lose our wonder at things that should continue to amaze and make us grateful.
